Yup, I’m nuts. Dating and other stuff.

I would like to think the "L" stands for loons.

I would like to think the “L” stands for loons.

Fact: I’m 37. I am single. The longest relationship I ever had ended in divorce.

So, the next statement should come as no surprise: I suck at dating.

Actually, that statement does not cover how monumentally bad I am at forming relationships with women.

Over the years I have found every way possible to ruin a possibly good situation. Being too distant. Trying too hard. Finding myself trying to date two women at once. Shrinking away in fear. Giving every indication 6148376999_95b434c71f_bthat I’m not interested when I really am. Being a colossal fuck-wit when it comes to planning dates. Attracting and being attracted to some absolute bat-shit crazy women.

What else?

I think too much. Or do I not think enough? Crap, I don’t know. I’m indecisive.

No goats. I have not employed goats to implode a relationship, yet.

Why do I mention goats? Well, because I’m dating a woman who I met on Tinder, who also happens to be an organizer of a float for a local Bockfest celebration parade. For some reason, Bockfest involves goats. Hence, me somehow employing goats to screw something that might not even be there up.

Did I say I think too much?

Anyway, the Tinder match is extremely sociable. She’s like organizing a pop-up art gallery, along with organizing the Bockfest float. She got tickets to see a real, live theater production that I’m invited to attend with her and EIGHT OF HER FRIENDS.

I already attended this intimate launch party for the pop up gallery hosted at someone’s apartment. That’s someone’s house, I realized as I showed up to the address. I nearly wet myself out of fear when the door opened and it sunk in I knew no one there, except this women who I went on a couple of dates with.

New people and social situations make me nervous.

I clutched a glass, hovered near the snacks table, and eventually made conversation with a couple of people who looked vaguely familiar. Runners. Thank God for runners. There were two women who I had met from the giant running group I am a part of.

4258475681_49369ee5dc_bWe had something in common and I was able to netter on about a topic I feel I have a certain amount of expertise on.

This led to speaking with some guy who writes poetry and has a degree in film and engineering and is about 9 billion times more intelligent than I am. But he was OK. We joked about shitty neighborhoods to not move your kids to. I don’t have kids. He does. Three.

I also got the feeling a lot of the creative, entrepreneurs at the party were mingling for work prospects. At the end of the night, I felt significantly outclassed, but managed to not make too big a fool out of myself. And before I knew it, I was at this nice little restaurant with the Tinder date for more one-on-one conversation and food.

For a moment, life was good. Then the invite to the theater came and a whole new round of meeting people, and a general question of am I really dating and hanging out with a woman. Does she really want to? Do I really want to?

And more thinking. Lots more thinking. And I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about or so concerned about.

I’m having fun. I’m going to see cultural stuff. I might do something other than watch and re-watch Game of Thrones every evening alone at home.


Who knows.


It needs to not be sub-zero outside on an evening I am not working, so I can clean my head with a good run.

And before some of you start praying for me, or seeking the nearest mental hospital to have me committed, I am employing hyperbole. Mostly.


10 thoughts on “Yup, I’m nuts. Dating and other stuff.

  1. Your fact and mine are the exact same. Keep dating. Keep running. Keep doing what makes you happy. God has you in His hand. That was the message in church today and it helped me out.

  2. Pingback: Yup, I’m nuts. Dating and other stuff. | TinderNews

  3. Dude, you are neurotic. You’re fun and nice and cute and I would have dated you in grad school if you hadn’t been married! And if you’d wanted to. But it wouldn’t have lasted bc my perfect match is not you…it’s some other guy, some little guy with glasses that I got married to. But I guess you should first figure out if you WANT to be in a relationship, really. Do you WANT to have someone live with you forever? Because mostly, that is why people date. They are searching for someone to live with forever. Do you want that? If the answer is no…then you need to put that at the top of your mental list and only date people who feel similarly, I think. Maybe that is a good place to start.

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