My desire to run this summer has fluctuated intensely between moments of pleasure (when I am doing it or after and group runs) and moments of despair (usually after a missed run, or right before a solo run).
Much of this has to do with the precious amount of time my work schedule allows.
I start work at 3 p.m. and am supposed to work until midnight, but often find myself there until 1 or 2 a.m. This means a full eight hours of sleep has me going out in the heat of the day for a run, and alone, because, you know, most people are at work at 10 a.m. and not quite able to go out and run a full sweaty hour before lunch.
I keep prodding myself though.
Saturday mornings I wake up at six a.m. after going to bed at one a.m. to go on big, long runs with my running group. I grumble and curse and want to find an excuse not to run, but I lace up anyway. I grumble in the heat and the humidity until I see a few good running friends and we start. Half way through I am so glad I went. The sweat and the endorphins and the breakfast with running mates afterward is so rewarding (along with the long nap before work — did I mention my ‘weekend’ is Monday and Tuesday?).
Still, there have been those moments where my spirits have lagged deeply, where I buckled and put off runs on the schedule, because I just don’t want to do it alone, or I want to pout because I know some of my running friends have other routines — routines like running evenings together while I am at work. I want so bad to be a part of that too, because if there is one thing I discovered, it is the camaraderie and social element to running is very appealing.
And maybe that’s what I’m really whining about too, the inability to run in groups as much as I would like.
Or it could just be not wanting to melt into a puddle when the temperature is 98 outside with 70 percent humidity.