So you had a couple bad runs, get over yourself?


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The two biggest things to occupy my brain-space this week are fretting and whining. I avoided writing my Friday post until the very last-minute because of it. Ultimately, I don’t want to come off sounding like an uber-douche by bitching about my week run-wise, but it is all I have.

On Tuesday, in the very cold weather I was so proud of myself for getting out in, I participated in hill repeats with the group. We took a familiar path down a relatively flat stretch of road to the foot of a relatively steep incline. The deal for the evening was we would run the .25 miles up hill, then back down, and up again 6 to 10 times.

I was okay on the flat run out, but almost immediately fell behind those I usually kept pace with, or lead, on the uphill slope. With a mighty effort I plowed ahead of the group on the third or fourth set. After the group settled on a total of eight repeats I was gassed. I clung onto mid-pack and trailed off on the flat two-mile run on the way back. I was so ready to be back at the running store where we started, and was a bit humiliated being the last one in. I made what I now feel were silly and awkward comments to my running friends, two of whom I started running with, but I could not keep up with.

Then Wednesday night happened. Again, I ran with one of my friends, a friend who ran the same hill repeats the night before. He had a spring in his step. Bridge inclines did not slow him down. I could not keep up. The run discouraged me to no end. My running mate was positive. I was a bit jealous and vowed to keep up next time. I ultimately felt like an asshole for making the run about me instead of his hard work.

Like a lot of distance runners, I think I am a bit nuts.

Unlike many, I don’t like to think I am competitive (You only compete against yourself!), but when in situations where I am not as good as my peers I realize I am. And when that leads me to being insecure, I am just plain weird to be around.

So, what did I do after Wednesday? I got up Thursday, the day I planned off to rest up for my long run on Friday, and I went to the gym where I rode hard on a stationary bike for 45 minutes. I then did some lunges with two ten pound weights, followed by a series of stretches. I also looked at the spin classes offered at the gym and tried to decide the class I could work into my schedule. This is all to cross-train and get faster.

I also looked at the scale when I came home. I lost 2 pounds since I started my new food regiment. That made me a little happier. So, I went to the grocery and bought more veggies and healthy foods.

I don’t know if this is bad behavior disguised as something good or not, but I am determined to not be left behind come race day. And I just hope I don’t act too much like an asshat around those I know while trying to grind it out either.

4 thoughts on “So you had a couple bad runs, get over yourself?

  1. Don’t get too hung up, just imagine if your best running mate was Gebrselassie!! We all have our days when we are slower or faster or in fact we are not as fast as our peers. I have 4 running friends, one runs a marathon at 4 minute K’s, one runs at 7minute K’s and the other at around 5 minute K’s. We meet up train or race alone but have fun beforehand and a beer after.

    • Thanks for the perspective. I needed it. I ran my 9.6 mile run (about 15.4 Ks) alone. I know in a group I may have run faster because of the pack mentality, but running alone in fresh snow was exactly what I needed to put me back into a positive mindset.

  2. Pingback: Change From Self Pity To Self Motivation

  3. Pingback: Change From Self Pity To Self Motivation — MichaelRunner - An Aspiring Endurance Athlete

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